Bad Boys

Rock Hill is a small town to the northeast of us. We've heard rumors that one of the police officers there dates and signs 2 full ticket books before beginning his shift, and frequently stops people for driving 31 mph in a 30 mph zone. This has been confirmed by some other police officers I've talked to, and some firemen we know. I wish I had a picture of this guy - riding his police motorcycle with full riding boots, channeling officer Frank Poncherello. You know it's bad when the lady working the window of Starbucks even talks about him.

But police work in Rock Hill isn't all bad. The weekly crime report, written by the police department and published in the local paper, is hilarious.

Here are some excerpts from this week's paper:

ROCK HILL

• Officers responded to the 300 block of Lithia Avenue Aug. 7 for a spat between a boyfriend and girlfriend involving five youths. Officers observed the individuals in a truculent posture towards each other and intervened before any fisticuffs could take place. Two of the individuals continued to perform and were taken into custody for failure to comply and for possession of marijuana. Their next act was held at the Rock Hill Hilton (jail) awaiting bond.
  
  
• Officers responded to the parking lot of Stein Mart, 9610 Manchester Road, Aug. 11 for an employee's vehicle making a loud noise. The driver told the officer she worked all day, and when she started her vehicle to go home it sounded like a racecar. The officers found the catalytic converter had been cut off the vehicle. The incredulous employee asked who would do such a thing. The officer explained that a certain element of our society, who would rather waste more energy stealing than working, cut it off for its scrap metal value.
  
  
• Officers on patrol discovered a horde of local crackheads and dealers milling about Aug. 12 on Eldridge Avenue at Plateau Avenue. Fearing they were about to commit despicable acts of crime or evil, police disbanded the group and kept watch on the area.
  
  
• Officers responded to the 1000 block of North Rock Hill Road Aug. 13 for an out-of-control juvenile. When officers walked though the door the brat morphed into a very complying young man.